When you got married, you undoubtedly felt that you could trust your new spouse with your life. While the two of you may have had a few differences in personality and perhaps may have even disagreed on numerous topics, you knew in your heart that this was the person you wanted to spend a lifetime with, raising a family and supporting each other as you work together to make your dreams come true.
It can be devastating to stay true to your vows only to wind up suspecting that your spouse has not done the same. There's a big difference between suspecting infidelity and proving it, however. Catching a spouse cheating is a common factor in many Pennsylvania divorces.
Red flag issues that may signal trouble
Perhaps your spouse has been a lot quieter than usual. Does it mean he or she has committed infidelity? Not necessarily, especially if your spouse is typically a moody person. However, a change in personality, such as someone talkative becoming increasingly quiet or vice versa, may be a cause for concern. The following list shows numerous other signs that are often present when a spouse is cheating:
- Does your spouse avoid spending time alone with you? If so, you may want to broach the topic and ask if there is a particular reason why this is happening.
- When is the last time your spouse paid you a compliment regarding your physical appearance? If it's been a long time, it may mean there's a problem.
- Some spouses try to compensate for their infidelity by showering their spouses in expensive gifts.
- When you're having a conversation with each other, does your spouse avoid eye contact? This is a major red flag.
- When you try to discuss the future with your spouse, does he or she get defensive or respond with vague answers? Spouses who are cheating and trying to decide whether or not to stay married often do this.
If you are spending more and more time apart and are rarely intimate, it may mean that something is going on in your marriage beyond the typical problems most spouses face. If you have found text messages on your spouse's cell phone from a number you don't recognize, you have a right to ask about it if you suspect infidelity.
What comes after the proof?
It is difficult to recover from the devastation of obtaining proof that your spouse has been engaging in an extramarital affair. Such hurt runs deep, and many relationships are simply unable to withstand the pressure. It's helpful to talk to someone who has helped others cope with such situations, such as a friend who's been through it, a minister or counselor, or an experienced family law attorney.